Jet skis, friends and the sun...

I have discovered is the best hang over cure. What an awesome day at the lake with good friends, some ice cold beer, jet skis and a beautiful sky all around. Days like these make life grand.

This time of year is always hard for me

The anniversary of my father's death is fast approaching. He passed away June 17, 2003. I was on vacation in Seattle with my now ex husband visiting his brother. I hesitated to even go, but the tickets were bought way before my dad's health slipped even closer to the abyss. And my mother convinced me that if he was going to pass away, he would do it whether I stayed in TX or went on my vacation.

I saw him the weekend before I left. The weekend before Father's Day. I took him his early Father's Day gift. I set on the second twin bed of what used to be my bedroom, but had been turned into the sick ward with a hospital bed for my dad to spend his days. He looked horrible. Swollen, grey, but with a hint of jaundice. Diabetes combined with congestive heart failure is a horrible, slow and painful death.

He called me Shirley and accused me of smoking a cigarette several times throughout the visit. He was not lucid once.

My dad and I were never close. I'd like to believe it was because he was too conservative and I too much of a free thinker. But what it really boils down to, the worst parts about him are ingrained in me and I battle(d) with them constantly. We butted heads a lot.

After the day long visit, my ex and I decide to leave. My dad actually got up from his bed to walk us to the car. He slowly put one swollen ankle and foot into a house shoe and then even slower put the other foot in. It was painful to even watch, so I cannot imagine what it must have felt like. He gripped his cane and walked down the long hallway to the garage door while Richard(the ex) held his other arm.

When we made it to the garage door and stepped outside, he paused, turned and looked at Richard and very rationally spoke, "Take good care of her. She's a good girl."

It was the first and last time I ever heard my dad actually say something nice about me to someone else. Now, he may have said it in private to others, but if he did, I never knew. I always thought he hated me or was disappointed in me. I guess I was wrong.

I left for Seattle 3 days later. My dad died a week and half later. I'm pretty sure I knew the moment he died. When I got the call from my sister, it woke me from a sleep where I had dreamed he had come to me and said goodbye and to "not be stupid." That's what he would tell us. "Don't be stupid." I guess that was his way of saying, "make good choices."

I wish we had been friends.

Dating is for the birds

I've never been that good at it. I stress too much and have no control over what is happening.

There are two kinds of people when it comes to dating:

-Those who roll with it and let things happen organically

and then there is

-Me.

I don't let things happen organically. It's not in my nature. I blame my parents.

A song to exemplify my life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6h95jpWgVs&feature=related

Vegas Baby!

I got to visit Vegas for the first time this past weekend. It was too much fun! My sister and I went to see the sights, hit the slots and tables and shop till we dropped. We dropped a lot. I saw the Elvis Cirque du Soleil show and it was just incredible. My jaw hurt from smiling from ear to ear the whole time. Let's just say I will go back...sooner than later.

Jude's Singing Debut

I love his modesty at the end. What a sweetheart!!

Spring into Easter!

Jude and I have had the day off together since it's Good Friday. We met friends for breakfast, then to the store and then to an indoor playnasium since it's rainy and gross here today. While at the playnasium, there was an Easter Bunny and they had an Easter Egg Hunt. Jude was all about it. But it got me to thinking...

Should I bring more religion into his life? He likes going to church with his cousins, but when I ask him if he wants me to take him, he says no. I don't really want to push it on him and I think when he's ready or willing, he'll ask. I secretly like being able to sleep in (until 7) on Sunday mornings and not have to spend half the day in church or even pantyhose and a slip for that matter. And honestly, I'm not even sure what I believe anymore. Being raised the way I was didn't exactly help with having much confidences in organized religions.

So on this Easter weekend, do I seek out a church where my pseudo beliefs can blend with his desire to sing songs and eat snacks with other 4 yr. olds and still gorge myself on Robin's Egg candies?

Team Dragons

The 1st game of the season was yesterday. Officially, no score was kept, but if I kept track correctly, the Dragons won 7-2. WOOT! Jude scored a goal...for the OTHER team. haha!! He informed me it was because the blue team didn't have any points yet and he wanted to help them out. How do you correct that line of thinking? My kid...the avenger of the underdog. I'm going to try to upload some pics from the game as well. Hopefully, it will work this time.







Needless to say, I am very proud of my little guy and am so thrilled he has taken to this sport. GOOOOOOO TEAM DRAGONS!!!